Monday, March 30, 2009

nooks and cranies

so we filter our minds and thoughts like we filter the food we put in our body. is that right? at this moment I am bombarded with media, the soft sounds of sufjan stevens, the base noise of the music playing at starbucks (yikes), the flailying arms of the energetic man in front of me, the hum of the cooler holding hyper prosessed baked goods from all over the world, the continual reminder of the americorps member development packet lying next to my computer which I am expected to fill out, the practice GRE software program that I am half assing, a little side project of picture manipulation that I find joy in fiddling with, this blog...the the flashing lights of the arby's and the outback steakhouse across the street, griding of coffee beans, pulses of electricity circulating with the awareness that a police officer just walked it, judgement of all I see.... ahhh uhh ahh

how much of this ought i filter? well for one you might suggest that i change locations.. of course I have excuse of caffine and internet addition which right now is being completely satisfied with my starbucks trip.. but even if I did change locations though I may be filtering the media from my mind, I am not filtering its existance in my life. though I am better off without many of the above, or rather substituting this experience with some other more psychologically healing or building experience, to what extent does it ignore the existance of crud.
put more simply can have an unbiased opinion towards what goes in our minds (ie what is acceptable for us to accept)? we are contintualy being bombarded with stuff that we mindlessly accept, but without recognition does our worldview suffer?
maybe that answer lies in not rejecting all the dumbed down american modernity but rather changing the passive acceptance, to critical thought- to what extent our energy allows.

fuck what i just wrote (or not)
think of it like this.. take in the good, the positive, the growth ready, take in the beautiful and the critical, take in all the people that add the richness to your mind and your body. junk the rest. in doing this we will only allow ourselves to grow- right? seems far to simplisitc. in my life even the most beautiful must have an opposiing with this the beauty is set against for comparison. I begin to realize that on so many occasions beatuy is coupled with the history of an object, a thought, a person, whatever.. we ascribe a story of beauty, why something is beautiful to us. though some things we can just look at and see some sort of symeticrical vivid beauty... what what about how chatoic our minds work. though they are extremely frustrating and tiresome at times, in their essesne our minds are beautiful with all the nooks and cranies of faults and triumphs.

I am a whole hearted believer that nothign cannot come to fruitition without sustained and continual affirmations of our intentions. {!we must be the change we want to see in the world!} and as I see it, the more one focuses on the growth and change the more holistically the change will come in the world around them. but there is some room for the junk, if only to know that it exisits, and that others are entrenched in the lifestyle. without understanding the history and perspective of the world around us we are left with little to relate to. ultimately recognize what you may consider as junk, then actively engage the junk with other junk lovers. relate through it, and communicate.

of course I might disagree with this post shortly. how beautiful

4 comments:

Jane said...

Estar...I assume I know you, but I can't quite figure it out from your picture or post. Is it Emily?

Estar said...

yes your right.

Charlene said...

Hi Emily! Is Estar the Spanish 'be'? I was thinking the Biblical Esthar:). Where are you?

Estar said...

hey charlene. hmm I didn't think of it like that. I like it.

im living outside of atlanta right now running around like crazy offering experiential education to some incredibly unique people! yey