paths

I just finished reading many of Charlene's posts, which leaves my heart feeling heavier than it did before. I, too, have to realign thought undercurrents to fit in better with societal conversation pitter-patter. I don't have the desire to talk about societal ills so much as ways to combat them. I think that allows me to keep an optimistic outlook, searching out people and ideas that inspire. Success with "activism" ebbs and flows. It's important to reflect on the triumphs to see how they can help re-frame the failures.

Two somewhat distinct paths are laid out for me. My heart is focusing on defining my community as the country, state, and city in which I have lived most of my life and know best. Yet, I still have a penchant for the unknown, particularly the more impoverished unknown. I find myself less driven than Charlene towards human rights struggles in other nations. I do not share their oppression and as much as I can sympathize and feel for their struggle, the amount of time it would take me to integrate myself in such a conflict and the inability to assimilate culturally steers me away from this path.

As for working on economic development in developing countries, I am waffling about this possible destiny as well. I have an opportunity to work for MeryCorps in Nepal this winter. It would be an opportunity to tour the country, learn about their economic development and disaster relief programs, offer advice (advice deemed valid because of my education), and gain some understanding of another culture and people. Through most of my life, I would have jumped at such an opportunity. But, perhaps for the first time, I am hesitant enough to not follow through. Apart from the long, expensive plane ride and missing my family and friends over the holidays, I have ethical qualms about making this journey. The organization would put me up and feed me and bring me in as an "expert" so that they may better their programs with the hope that I would do research on their behalf at a later date.

I have been having a long-running debate with a friend about our morally defensible sphere of influence. He contends that bringing western progressive ideals to a non-western place is no better than multinational corporations and international governmental organizations making their mark on the world. Some might argue that international non-profits are necessary to clean up the original mess of developed country meddling. But might the best solution be getting out of there all together? Even groups that bring seemingly necessary aid such as aids/hiv drugs to Africa and food to famine-stricken countries have an ideology that they are promoting. So, if female genital cutting is being practiced, as a westerner, does my opinion count? I have most often viewed national boundaries with little respect. I see myself as a world citizen. But yet, my world citizen status is incredibly privileged, allowing me to make a much greater impact on people around the globe than I might have had if I grew up in Cambodia. Perhaps I can go to Nepal with the understanding of my privilege and confront and question my authority when the need arises. It's ironic that even though I worry about the negative effects of privilege, I continue to strive for accolades and titles that elevate my status and afford me the most opportunities possible to exercise my beliefs.

lose the jargon - more thoughts

This was going to be a comment on the end of Jane's last post but then I got too long winded (as usual) and decided a new post was the best format.

I have been thinking about this too - specifically when dealing with jargon when hopping from academia to organizing.

My working hypothesis is only use jargon or an uncommon word when:

(1) it articulates an important concept that is not captured in another, simpler word or short phrase. Anything beyond this is jargon that shouldn't exist at all, not in academics and not in daily life.

(2) when it adds a necessary level of complexity to the topic or task at hand. Some jargon does deserve to exist, in that it captures a unique concept, but is rarely appropriate to use outside of academic treatments of a subject. Concepts that are laden with historical and structural detail are probably not worth introducing into a conversation if explaining them is not going to clarify the situation at hand. For example, you probably don't need to bring up orientalism when talking about today's immigration policy with your neighbor.

College educated social justice folks often screw up on both points because they fail to strike a balance. Most obviously they overdo it, using jargon that either shouldn't exist at all, or is innapropriate for the topic at hand.

But I want to focus on the less obvious mistake of underdoing it: dumbing things down so severely - either by censoring all uncommon words or jargon, or by oversimplifying a situation - that we fail to realistically depict the thing we are trying to communicate.

These mistakes can lead to paternalist and populist forms of engaging people. We disrespect folks by talking to them in ways that assumes they are not capable of generating new and more complex thoughts, or assuming they haven't already. We do a disservice to them when we divide the world unrealistically into black and white, knowing there are shades of gray but thinking the best way to motivate others is to be harshly dualistic.

So I think we can use a little bit of jargon when engaging people if we are saavy about it. For example, it is worth making the sex/gender distinction (for those feminists who use it) when talking to a housewife about enrolling her son in gymnastics, or daughter in hockey.

The bottom line is this: the point of using any jargon should be to open up discussion, to clarify or deepen our understanding of a reality. This is in contrast to the example described by Jane, where the competitive graduate student uses it to close down discussion and obscure realities, thereby "winning" a debate or impressing others by virtue of befuddling them.

My only other thought is that we make sure to engage people conversationally, so any goofy words we want to use comes up organically in response to the direction of the conversation. Too often we get into the habit of delivering mini lectures, a holdover from our socialization experience in the university classroom. And as we use any jargon, we should not assume people know what it means. Instead, volunteer to explain any concept as you bring it up, and make sure you have established an environment in which other people know they can feel confortable interupting you to ask for clarification. Let them know that doing so means you are being unclear, rather than that they are revealing ignorance.

lose the jargon

I've been considering how to communicate across disciplines, departments, socio-economic barriers, and cultural identities. I love interdisciplinary non-fiction that challenges a homogenous set of ideas to incorporate a critical analysis of other related concerns. For example, The Journal of Ecological Economics attempts to bridge ecology with economics, which adds depth and dialogue to both disciplines. Or bell hooks describes how the feminist movement must engage African-American women and discard its classist beginnings. We isolate ourselves because it's easier being around those we know, whether we know them by their word choice, skin color, suburban roots, or value system. It is incredibly exhausting to actually listen to one another and be open-minded enough to entertain the thought that we may not be right.

I was having a conservation with two Phd students the other day about how they deal with arguments. When someone won't listen to them, they use jargon to scare them into submission. Although I don't know how often they use this strategy to get their point across, it definitely upsets me that this is an established method of winning an argument, particularly in academia. If you can write the most compicated, unintelligible model, you must know what you're talking about......hmph.

At times, I feel like a chameleon when deciding how to speak to one person or another. What type of slang should I use? Should I cuss? Should I get out my biggest words and stand up straight? Communication is tough. It's essential that my true self always shines through this particular layer of makeup. Are the gobs of paint necessary to relate to others? I often think so.

FS Road 346: A Haiku by Stacy & Jane

I pulled off the road.
Young trilliums await me.
Grass dirt and the rain.

Sloshing through the mud.
I can feel the earth below.
Pulsing breathing soil.

Wind blows mind away.
Woosh woosh wish whirl woosh shhh ptch.
Kissing lush green moss.

Orange salamanders.
Mosey on by to puddle.
Merrily frolic.

Rushing water near.
Creek appears within the mist.
Elation follows.

karmic forces in check

One chicken down, one left, and four aruacanas tomorrow.

See http://images.google.com/images?q=araucana%20chickens&oe=utf-8&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&client=firefox-a&um=1&ie=UTF-8&sa=N&hl=en&tab=wi for the beautiful aruacana.

A bantum chicken has officially been kidnapped. I haven't filed a missing chicken report yet, but I have a good idea of what happened to her (e.g. raccoon, possum, dog). While I was initially sad and felt like a despicable chicken caretaker, I feel more upbeat now. Failure is inevitable and can only bring greater joy if we keep on keeping on. Plus, the karmic rays are shining brightly on the garden. The beds are moist, the sun is beating down, and the well water is abundant. I've been reading some beat poetry - I like Gary Snyder quite a bit.

As for making social change, the neighborhood potluck/food growing extravaganza has been planned and the invitations have been sent out. Soon, Tunison Street will be a food oasis...soon!

In a request from Charlene, I will continue on this thought train: Creating a meaningful life post-college."

Now that I live somewhere where I'm invested in the soil and the neighbors, I want to spend a lot of time at my house and on this street. I can understand why we see less "activism" out of college. People have real lives where they live that they just can't pick up and get away from. Whether it's pets, plants, children, or remodeling the kitchen, home time is incredibly valuable. I've really never had that before. While I've enjoyed my living situations, I never invested time or money in a place besides putting up random posters or cleaning the toilet (forced by Katie).

Furthermore, the larger community is more present in my daily life in that I organize with many folks outside of the university scene. And I like it. The college scene is limited to the extent that it doesn't represent (many) other ways of life and keeps me in a privileged resource base. However, I still live in a privileged community that has many resources, so I haven't moved that far.

Finally, I try to experiment with actually living my life instead of thinking in the past or the future. The present is not so bad. If we're mindful of small daily activities and take pleasure and truth from them, we can always find meaning.

nooks and cranies

so we filter our minds and thoughts like we filter the food we put in our body. is that right? at this moment I am bombarded with media, the soft sounds of sufjan stevens, the base noise of the music playing at starbucks (yikes), the flailying arms of the energetic man in front of me, the hum of the cooler holding hyper prosessed baked goods from all over the world, the continual reminder of the americorps member development packet lying next to my computer which I am expected to fill out, the practice GRE software program that I am half assing, a little side project of picture manipulation that I find joy in fiddling with, this blog...the the flashing lights of the arby's and the outback steakhouse across the street, griding of coffee beans, pulses of electricity circulating with the awareness that a police officer just walked it, judgement of all I see.... ahhh uhh ahh

how much of this ought i filter? well for one you might suggest that i change locations.. of course I have excuse of caffine and internet addition which right now is being completely satisfied with my starbucks trip.. but even if I did change locations though I may be filtering the media from my mind, I am not filtering its existance in my life. though I am better off without many of the above, or rather substituting this experience with some other more psychologically healing or building experience, to what extent does it ignore the existance of crud.
put more simply can have an unbiased opinion towards what goes in our minds (ie what is acceptable for us to accept)? we are contintualy being bombarded with stuff that we mindlessly accept, but without recognition does our worldview suffer?
maybe that answer lies in not rejecting all the dumbed down american modernity but rather changing the passive acceptance, to critical thought- to what extent our energy allows.

fuck what i just wrote (or not)
think of it like this.. take in the good, the positive, the growth ready, take in the beautiful and the critical, take in all the people that add the richness to your mind and your body. junk the rest. in doing this we will only allow ourselves to grow- right? seems far to simplisitc. in my life even the most beautiful must have an opposiing with this the beauty is set against for comparison. I begin to realize that on so many occasions beatuy is coupled with the history of an object, a thought, a person, whatever.. we ascribe a story of beauty, why something is beautiful to us. though some things we can just look at and see some sort of symeticrical vivid beauty... what what about how chatoic our minds work. though they are extremely frustrating and tiresome at times, in their essesne our minds are beautiful with all the nooks and cranies of faults and triumphs.

I am a whole hearted believer that nothign cannot come to fruitition without sustained and continual affirmations of our intentions. {!we must be the change we want to see in the world!} and as I see it, the more one focuses on the growth and change the more holistically the change will come in the world around them. but there is some room for the junk, if only to know that it exisits, and that others are entrenched in the lifestyle. without understanding the history and perspective of the world around us we are left with little to relate to. ultimately recognize what you may consider as junk, then actively engage the junk with other junk lovers. relate through it, and communicate.

of course I might disagree with this post shortly. how beautiful

La vida rural en Oregon

Trees, large gusts of wind, green green grass, moss, mulch, ocean, snowy plovers: a few of the things I've enjoyed today. I've recently inherited a 1/4 acre of prime garden space next door to my house. One day, as my knees pulsed together with untapped energy, I got up from studying macroeconomic theory and went to meet my neighbors. One by one, I found out that Becky grows tomatoes, Megan is raising six chicks in her bedroom, Susana and Martín lost their squash sprouts to slugs, and Rachel and Jeffrey have a secret garden. This secret garden is now my sanctuary. Four large raised beds, a greenhouse, many pounds of wonderfully decomposed organic matter, fruit trees galore (e.g. apple, pear, cherry, fig), various tool sheds filled with tools!, a peaceful gazebo, and a crank compost device are all at my disposal. My neighbors have some physical ailments that keep them from gardening, but are happy to let me have a go at it. With the help of Wes, Doug, and Connie, one bed is now de-weeded after many years of disuse and filled with two varieties of large bulbous onions and red chard.

So, moral of the story, I may never leave here. Here as in the west coast, the pacific northwest most likely, maybe even Tunison Avenue. Doug and I will be able to feed ourselves and many others from this garden and learn so much in the process. Before moving to Oregon I had never grown anything. Y todo de repente, I have six basil plants, a few tomatoes and chili peppers, chives, and cilantro on my windowsill, a rain barrel with great potential, two lovely chickens that are battling death right now (wish them luck or pray or do what you think is appropriate: they could use your support right now), and a large plot of land to do whatever I want with. Is this serendipity or what? My only looming concern is if karmic forces are in check, then will this garden discovery mean failure or loss somewhere else? I wonder if the chickens are somehow involved...

learning

I can't believe someone ELSE finally posted on this blog...I knew it would happen one day!

Following Laura's post, I definitely concur that we have to be very active, discriminating information-gathering folks.

(1) I have some trouble with the passive intake. I love to read and listen and can't stand to eat or shit without taking something else in simultaneously. So at school when I pack my lunch, I eat in the kitchen where typically the only thing to read is the new Wall Street Journal. So I find myself reading about the economic recession and investment banking from libertarian and capitalist minded Americans, which doesn't jive with me particularly well. But I take it in, sometimes in horror and other times forgetting my own perspective or others.

(2) As for information consumption in a more structured environment that I technically choose to put myself in, that's hit or miss, and often miss for true learning ah-ha! moments. Those structured learning environments often take a long time to translate into true knowledge gain because we're rarely asked to critically assess what we're learning and why. It's only after some space and time from those experiences that I can synthesize what came out of it. And if it turns out that the particular learning environment was reinforcing oppressive modes of being, then at least I can learn from those situations and imagine how learning might differ (let's think free schools!). I don't believe that many people ever assess these learning environments though and, unfortunately, take them in without question, which is obviously a huge PROBLEM!

(3) And then I think of my active searches for knowledge and the world gets so much more vibrant and exciting. I've recently been reading many south end press titles, having fantastic conversations about feminism, organizing my neighborhood into a food oasis where we can share gardening knowledge, tools, and land, analyzing sex (doing it) and monogamy, learning how to repair my bicycle organizing with the Corvallis bicycle cooperative, bake bread, & sprout, and listening/dancing to samba, funk, and alt. pop here and there. And these are obviously the things that make me feel alive. But I also think without a smidgeon of the bad passive intake and institutional learning, I might have a hard time relating to those who use these two modes as their only knowledge sources. It's certainly easy to find opportunities for "learning" via pathways (1) and (2). However, we must collectively go towards pathway (3) if we hope to push our understandings and relationships of and with the world.

You should put good things in your brain

This started out as a shorter post, but hopefully the message remains simple. For the first time in my life since infancy I find myself without obligations to any institution of learning or wage earning. I have almost complete control over what goes into and out of my brain, and I'm trying to be more conscientious of what I put in it in particular. So far, it's going medicore (I am trying to get better!), but it's blown my mind how little I've thought about this in the past.

If you want it, you can actually take near complete control over what goes into and out of your cranium. You can be personally responsible for it, and you can make your head healthier. If your mind is filled with crap thoughts and largely empty experiences, it's because that's all you are putting in there.

There are probably three brain-gears you can shift into as you move through your environment:

(1) Passive. Akin to eating the cookie someone else baked and handed to you, it's the easiest level of intake. When you let (note the passive verb) information, emotions, and experiences into your head at this level a very specific group of people are the only ones taking the time to feed it to you. Really meditate on this - who would bother forming ideas and then working their asses off to find and deliver them to a passive shlup? What is their motivation?

I have answers to this but I'd rather you think about it and come up with an answer yourself.

Now how scary are those possibilities. And they might not even be possibilities, it might be happening to your brain. Right now.

(2) Dependent Active. This is the type of intake that requires our active participation, but not full responsibility for the direction taken. You are entrusting the reigns of your head to another who will hopefully guide it well, and then you bust your hump to get the most out of the journey. Your basic classroom setting with a syllabus fits here, so does a workplace. Sure, you are putting in your own sweat, and you might even be thinking critically about the tasks in front of you. A lot of value can come from this situation, especially if the person you've entrusted your brain's direction to (the teacher or boss) is wiser than you and focuses on things of value. But it is still incredibly difficult to have an autonymous brain in this situation. The teacher or boss still chooses what is important to think about, and what is not by omission.

(3) Autonymous Active. Here you take complete responsibility for and exercise near complete control over what you feed your mind. You have to determine what knowledge is important, and how you go about getting it. You are completely free to read, watch, and otherwise spend time with what you desire and value. You must also face the dull terror of this absolute responsibility and scrap together decent brain food out of the immense and anarchic sea of emotion, information, and experience that confronts you. Conversely, if your mind gets fat and lazy on reality TV, it's your own damned fault. Now what a tragedy it is to voluntarily give control of perhaps your most precious asset over to the small and disturbing group of people from #1 who would want it. Dictators, exploiters, profiteers, megalomaniacs...

As a human rights/social justice activist I spend plenty of time worried about people who don't have the freedom to control their speech, religion, conditions of survival, and other aspects of their economic, social and cultural environment. We call these things violations of human rights or human dignities. But perhaps the most fundamental is control over our own brains. That so many people give up this fundamental freedom voluntarily, and refuse to take any significant measure of responsibility for it, is profoundly disturbing and saddening.

[I do realize that one must be in a certain economic/social/political position to liberate their brain and take responsibility for everything going into it. But if a free mind is anything like a human right, it is co-dependant and interlinked with other rights. So the more you free your head, the more you can work for the realization of other rights, the more you can free your head, and so on...]

This is as much a pep-talk for myself as for anyone reading. So take as much control of your mind as you possibly can right this instant, and don't let go.

Corvallis DIO (doin' it ourselves!)

So I didn't know what to expect tonight. I sent a message to a few listserves I'm on: the organic grower's club, Ten Rivers Food Web, the Hours Trader (alternative local currency), some friends from school and posted flyers in a couple coffee shops and a few places around campus. That's all. More than 30 people showed up for the first meeting of the Corvallis DIY/DIO Collective and another 15 sent me emails saying they wish they could have made it, but were already occupied. We were all on the same page, or at least seemingly so. The Corvisivallians are down with organic gardening, bicycle cooperatives, sprouting, a tool share, and crafty awesomeness (e.g. dyeing fabrics, knitting, crochet, sewing). The inter-generational vibes were wonderful. People of all ages with similar goals wanting to get shit done now! The plan is to meet once a month for a Food Not Bombs style potluck to stimulate community and get in touch with each other informally based on our interests to work on projects. We have a tentative weekend-long skillshare planned for the fall. So much great energy! Any way I'm feeling good.

recommended by Charlene

The Nowhere Man

The transcontinental tribe of wanderers is growing, global souls for whom home is everywhere and nowhere. Pico Iyer, one of the privileged homeless, considers the new kind of person being created by a new kind of life

By Pico Iyer

Check it out at http://www.prospect-magazine.co.uk/article_details.php?id=4639. It took up too much space here:(

Bienvenido

If you were recently invited to be part of this blog, welcome. I am new to the interactive blog world besides a vain stint with livejournal some years ago. If you find this group of people exciting, I hope you post. This blog comes from a few places of inspiration: a suggestion from lilli, a need for a continued sense of place, keeping Cbus urban farming dreams alive, and a search for understanding that I feel only comes from interactions with others. I've organized on one issue or another or perhaps just mulled over some of my deeper thoughts with most of you. Please invite others.

P.S. If there are any snags with posting, let me know.

Let's read

A smattering of university courses in business management, calculus, linear programming, and a handful of international studies and environmental economics courses still leave much to be desired for the knowledge I seek. Recently, I have been re-educating myself on the many isms (e.g. capitalism, feminism, racism, sexism) that I’ve only poked at in the past. In my quest for a deeper and useful understanding of oppression, the following titles have been enlightening in one aspect or another. I would love to hear what everyone has been reading and what has been inspiring you. Please add to the list!

Books and authors:

bell hooks

Grassroots: A Field Guide for Feminist Activism by Jennifer Baumgardner and Amy Richards

Winona LaDuke

South End Press (publisher)

Queerly Classed

The Revolution Will Not Be Funded: Beyond the Non-profit Industrial Complex by Incite! Women of Color Against Violence